Sunday, October 10, 2010

In response...in response

In response to
Another Step In The Journey
Synod PJC Decision In Parnell And Others v. Presbytery Of San Francisco

http://blog.gajunkie.com/2010/10/03/another-step-in-the-journey--synod-pjc-decision-in-parnell-and-others-v-presbytery-of-san-francisco.aspx

And in response....


Thank you for this posting. It is especially helpful to read through it all as an accurate and fair reporting and analysis of what is impacting this church we serve and the lives of people touched by it's decisions.

In a time when much-needed attention is being brought to the deaths of young gay people, choosing suicide as a remedy to the intense and unbearable bullying and violence they are subjected to for being gay, the PC(USA) is being called. Called to grapple with how people, sisters and brothers who are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) are to be welcomed in this church. Called even more, and in more difficult ways, to acknowledge and accept that we (the church we serve) have unwittingly become complicit in the violence as a result of our decisions and those of the broader church, in sending out messages that add to the hatred of LGBT folk and the rampant marginalization and oppression to which we are subjected.

This is not a conversation that most of us want to have, however, it the one place where, as painful as it is, I believe we can start out in agreeing that God and the teachings of Jesus and the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit would ever call us to practice anything that causes such terrible things to happen to people we increasingly come to know as family, friends, loved ones, and baptized sisters and brothers. That same call of the Trinity, I believe, would never call us to exclude or marginalize or oppress others to make our church more "pure."

It seems to me that such things are among the most egregious violations of what we hold essential, and we need to change, I wish by heart and love alone, and if not by amendments and ratification.

I say all these things as a Christian, a man who is gay, and a minister of Word and Sacrament, ordained in 2005 as an an openly gay man who refused to abide by G-6.0106b. There were no hidden agendas, a 45 day wait before ordination to allow any charges to be made, and none came.

In practice, good practice, we have already changed. These efforts toward continued exclusion and growing hostility are perhaps increasing because we are approaching a time when we will be a church of hospitality in new ways, ways that will challenge and bless us and provide a place for all. From hostility to hospitality. That, surely, is the way of the Irit, as well.

How anyone can talk about these faithful candidates without understanding the grace they are bringing our way, seems to be more the difficulty of those who cannot or will not accept the impact, if not the intent, of their actions.

We can be a church that embraces our differences, as well as one another. We should, by now, be pretty good at that. God knows the world needs us to be so.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Let's leave the BOP out of this...

[Response to the leadership of the PLC calling for churches to hold back per capita as a protest against health coverage for same gender couples. PLC Article]

Is it possible that no one associated with the PLC knows or loves anyone who is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender (LGBT)? I cannot believe that every member of the PLC or reader of the Layman would encourage holding back health care for same gender partners to be part of an increasingly sad attempt to divest a group of people from the PC(USA) at any cost - even denying them the same basic care others get simply as a matter of their employment. What will be next?

I have said it before. I do understand the difficulty for many in welcoming people who are LGBT into ordination and marriage. If you have been brought up to believe certain things and then are faced with challenges, challenges that turn everything upside down, at first, it is a daunting consideration.But isn't that what Christianity has always been? Hasn't the gospel message consistently called us forward into assembly and unity that at one time or another were most unlikely? And haven't we always been blessed by such growth in ways that carried the message of Jesus and the Gospel forward through more than 2000 years?

We, we who disagree in such ways, do need to work this out. However, disagreement to the degree of holding back per capita to prevent coverage for employees who are LGBT has to cross the line for most, except perhaps the most vocal, prolific, and conflicted of professors and authors who make a living off the dehumanization of others. That is quite an extreme group in our church, and I would expect anything of them.

But for the rest of us, we can argue and disagree while we address the basic health and human concern of all of those who work for the church, people who are not proselytizing their own form of witness, but just doing the work we have called them to do - in jobs that span the gamut.

The attempt to link this type of insurance and care to the idea of being immoral - is, in fact, itself and immoral act of attempting to "cleanse" this church of the LGBT community in every way possible.

As I said, if there is no one in your life who you know and love that is LGBT, who goes to work every day - to do a good job, support a family, contribute in some way to the greater good of family, church, and society -- if there is no one in your life who you know that is such a person - then they who are those in your life are afraid to tell you so. Because this idea will surely hurt someone you know and love. This church - or any part of it - cannot call us to such a thing. It is immoral, indeed.

Please, let's make our arguments where they belong - with one another on the theology and polity regarding ordination and marriage, not on the back of people who work for us.

Respectfully,
Ray Bagnuolo, Minister of Word and Sacrament
Gay Member of the LGBT Community
New York City

Friday, September 24, 2010

In Response to Re. Kim...

For the original post by Rev. Kim please visit:
Dear Pastor Kim,
   While I appreciate your comments and all conversation related to the ways in which our current polity affects our sisters and brothers who are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender - your suggestions for more study and your seeing no end to the "debates," are in fact the problem that has brought us to this place.
   A few clarifications, if I might, speaking for me and those who might agree with me, I am not an "issue." I am a living, breathing human being, created by God as I am - gay, ordained as an openly gay man, serving all those who come to me as best as I can, and frankly - outraged - with the PC(USA) and it weakness and inherent cowardness in standing up for full inclusion. I may be a problem for some in the church, but I am not an issue. I cannot be objectified and talked about at arm's length as though I were not here. That has been part of the problem.
   Second, whose side is Jesus on? Whew. That sure is a way to solve this all. It's clear to me, actually which side Jesus is on. Jesus is on the non-violent, loving side. Those still fighting to keep us divided by G-6.0106b and other "standards," are actually complicit in the violence that continues to be experienced through hate crimes and other exclusionary measures toward gay people that are rampant in our society. And, the voice of the church and the limited interpretation of the gospel that would exclude gay people is culpable in that violence. On which side do you think Jesus would side here?
   Additionally, there is no one that I know in the community of LGBT people in the PC(USA) that wants to keep others out, i.e. excluded, [in order to] to settle our differences. In fact, the LGBT community continues to try to work together and honor each other in ways that are far from returned by those who call upon the gospels as reasons to marginalize our community. On which side of that do you think Jesus would place his affirmation.
   Look, we need to move on, embrace on another with all our differences, and stop studying and delaying the call to love, non-violence, and leaving the judging to God. If we are making a mistake, let's err on the side of love. That I think Jesus would agree with.
   In peaceful outrage, because this call for more than study and time -

Ray Bagnuolo, Minister of Word and Sacrament

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Distance of Fear: Ruling in the Trial of The Rev. Dr. Janie Spahr & the PC(USA)

     I am really not used to dealing with anger to any great measure. Sure, I have it from time to time. As a person and a pastor, I struggle to use it in productive ways when it takes hold. Generally, with prayer and the help of friends, I get beyond it and move a bit further in what some of my friends refer to as “character building.”
     However, I have been spending the last several days struggling mightily to understand the anger in me generated by the guilty verdict of Janie Spahr by the Permanent Judicial Commission (PJC) of The Presbytery of the Redwoods. It been anything but an exercise in “character building.”
     Janie was charged by an anonymous complainant for her officiating at more than a dozen same gender weddings in California during a time when they were legal in the State. The PJC found Janie guilty of violating her ordination vows, the church constitution, and other rulings – while commending her on her prophetic ministry to the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Community. The accuser was never named nor ever appeared.
     This decision and procedure was enough to generate disappointment and dismay. But there was more to this anger of mine this than just disappointment.
     I have been going over the events of the four days of hearings in Napa, trying to find the reason for the near sickness I have been feeling. A thousand questions I’ve asked of myself.
     Was it the failure of the PJC to notify the defense counsel that a seventh member of the PJC had days before said they would not be able to participate in the trial? Janie’s defense team found this out only hours before the trial began. This changed the PJC from a 7 member to a 6 member board; changing the necessary votes for a verdict of guilty from 5 to 4 (a 2/3rds vote was necessary for the decision). The guilty verdicts were all by a 4-2 vote.
     Was it the General Assembly Permanent Judicial Commission's (GAPJC) refusal of a request by Rev. Spahr and her counsel? They had gone to the GAPJC for guidance in the marriages before she officiated at them, in which she and her counsel noted that the civil laws of the State had changed, following their last ruling. She had been told she had "no standing" to make such a request. (The ruling in question was the outcome of an earlier hearing against Dr. Spahr. No standing?)
     Or, maybe it was my own sense of fairness that the PJC should have included someone who is openly a member of the LGBT community. Certainly, there was someone in The Presbytery of the Redwoods that could have stepped forward and been fair in their deliberation. Or do we only trust heterosexual individuals to make the best judgments in the church of those who are on trial, in part, for being Lesbian?
     Perhaps my anger came from the absence of any apparent sense of prophecy or awareness of the moment in history that was in the PJC’s hands, or from the dismissal of the heart-wrenching and courageous stories of the same gender couples who allowed themselves to be examined and cross-examined, stepping into a place of great love and vulnerability to witness for all.
     Perhaps it was the prosection who called no witnesses, narrowing the case “into the head” and away from the heart, as she suggested. If this isn’t a matter of both – what have we become?
     All of this contributed to my distress, but still there was more to it. Of course, I admit to holding Janie as best friend, prophet, mentor, and example of who we are and what can be in the church when at our very best. Even the PJC didn’t contradict that. They commended Janie on her prophetic and exemplary ministry and then failed to exercise any of the same prophecy or courage they so lauded.
     I know that’s getting close to the anger, because the quiet voice inside me almost cries out, “How dare they?!”
     And then to say they love Janie as they handed down the verdict. To apologize for the church and all it has done wrong to the LGBT community. To thank the power of the witnesses and their hearts, thanking them for sharing their lives in ways no one has been asked to do in being accepted in this church, and then to succumb to the injustice of a constitution they referred to as confusing and in conflict with itself…was almost too much to process in any rational way. To say we love you in such a way is to really say, “We don’t want you.” It was stunning in all the wrong directions.
     That’s when it started to hit me. I knew from the start that PJC had the power that seldom comes to people to make an incredible change in an unjust system. Had they voted acquittal and stood as tall as the accused, stating for all to hear that there was no way they could find this minister and these couples guilty of anything except faithfulness and enhancing this church – what an amazing day it could have been! Had they ruled in alignment with their hearts and their heads, they could have sent a message to the church, society, and the whole nation that this church, this PC(USA) would not stand for this attack on one of their own (their own) or the LGBT community they considered family, if they had anything to say about it. And, if as I believe is true, they were convinced as they said that this ruling would move the discussion forward – then why do it in such a hurtful way? Why not vote 6-0 in favor of acquittal. I promise you that such a verdict would have produced appeals in a heartbeat. Instead of beating down those you say you love and admire - you would have lifted them up for the first time in this church in a way that truly had meaning.
     In his “Letter from a Birmingham Jail,” Martin Luther King said, “Any law that uplifts human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust.” That’s the measure of just how wrong this all was.
     And there it is. Although I have felt opposed, marginalized, mischaracterized, and demeaned, I have never experienced such blatant degradation in all my time in the PC(USA). And what made it worse, what made me angrier is that this decision degraded an entire community of people. It did it in accordance with the law, as they saw it. Did anyone say, "Gospel"?
     And, it’s here that the anger takes a deep dive through what I had just imagined to be fear on the part of others toward our community. This verdict and the subsequent rationale and comments of the PJC and others articulated a deep and institutionalized aversion to us, a feeling of dislike for us that is so strong that it produced this institutionalized reaction. My free fall of anger to utter sadness is hinged here, hinged on the meaning of deep aversion and intense dislike, for sadly this is a definition of hatred. I must have been naïve for I never once thought this was at the root of all our struggles in the church. How could we follow Christ and be so distant, at the same time?
     While I call no one on the commission or otherwise involved hateful, we need to acknowledge that the reason that the LGBT community is not fully integrated in this PC(USA) is because of such irrational sentiments and the distance that fear produces. Not a fear of those of us who are LGBT, I suggest, but a fear of calling this illness what it is.
     So, as Dr. King also once said, “Where do we go from here?”
     Dr. King’s response was, “…we must first honestly recognize where we are now.”
     Where we are now is a church divided. We are not divided by people who are LGBT who want to belong. We are divided by the culture of hate that has invaded us from all around us. We have embraced the hate of sectarian interests and cobbled it together to represent the PC(USA) in judging the lives of our sisters and brothers who are LGBT. Instead of leading by the gospel against the violence and damage of institutionally degrading this community, we have mislead ourselves by our aversion to others. And in the process, to protect our own failings, we have marginalized others.
     Folks, we cannot wait for institutional change to address these injustices that are creeping us closer and closer to no return from hatred and violence. If we as a church cannot rise up with the leadership of those like The Rev. Dr. Spahr and stand by them fully – we will continue to feed the culture that surrounds us with our own witness of fear and acquiescence. We seem to willingly replace justice and prophecy with doing things “decently and in order” – and fail to treat those we accuse with anything like the decency and primary order of ours being the Church of Jesus Christ.
     It is not enough to look at the things which we do well as church, which are many. We also need to enter into the wrong we are doing others – and address them now. If we can accept the disharmony and degradation of others as an acceptable price to pay for the years it will take to right this abomination of exclusion of the people who are LGBT, then indeed we have no idea what this is all about. It may be that the mountain of such pain we have caused over the years has made us immune to the complicity of this sad state in which we now find ourselves.
     From that place, loving us…means nothing at all. It’s enough to make one angry…and very sad.
     But just in case you might be hoping, it’s no where near enough for us to give up. Folks are fond of asking, why don't you find another denomination. The answer is simple, "This cannot be a whole church without us, and we love you too much to leave you."

Friday, August 27, 2010

Please pray with us...

In a few hours the verdict on Janie Spahr's ministry and this church's welcoming of LGBT sisters and brothers will be known. Yet the verdict will not be about Janie or any of us who are LGBT, family, friends, supporters, faithful...it will be about the church who believes they can sit in judgment of others.

Sorry, I don't have space for more time, for more study, or the stomach or heart for more violence extended from the exclusionary practices of this church. This commission has what few have, the chance to open the doors to the church in ways that have always been meant to be. These commissioners have the chance to strike down what should never have stood in the way of we who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender...

Simply, to find others guilty for practicing faithfully what never should be lost is hard to fathom. And, we are in difficult times obscured by fear and worse. All the more reason for this to be a day and a time to fill this world with the Light in ways for all to see.

If you pray, please pray with us this morning. If you don't pray, please pray with us this morning. Pray and envision this committee and this fellowship hall at Covenant Presbyterian Church in the Light of God and the presence of Jesus and the Spirit. Pray that the hearts of the commissioners and the church will open for all. Please. Pray. For us all. Thank you.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

An Amazing Day for Love and Testimony

Someone out there might say, because people say the darndest things, that the intense and invasive testimony of the eleven couples that Janie married "...was really their own fault. They should have known that being legally married in the State of California when marriage was legal, having their marriage officiated by a faithful Presbyterian minister would cause them these problems. It's their own fault."

And to that I say, "Pooh!"

Every Presbyterian, the real ones, the ones that still honor those who historically have fought for justice and equality across a host of social changes - those Presbyterians - should thank these couples and the minister who married them. They should be here, standing by these couples and the church leaders like Janie Spahr, Jean Southard, Janet Edwards and others who have extended themselves deep into this time of imminent change with faithfulness, courage, heart, intelligence, and above all a commitment to Jesus Christ as "Lord of the Conscience." In other words, Presbyterians.

These leaders have filled the gap left by a GAPJC that refused to honor a request for guidance to The Rev. Spahr following a change in the laws in California that made marriage legal. These leaders again stand alone, filling the gap created by the absence of any past or present leaders from Louisville at these proceeding and the distance of the Office of the General Assembly at this critical trial. Not a word from any one of them...no help, no guidance, not a peep.

Is it any wonder that members of this church who are LGBT feel like their church has left them behind? If it weren't for these leaders being charged for their leadership - who would there be speaking up for the LGBT community?

Now, about the couples who testified. Amazing. To listen to people who are lesbian and gay and who have fought through more than could be imagined to honor their love and then to make themselves vulnerable to questioning and cross-examination to affirm their love is the Power of God at work. For them to open their lives to public display to support the minister who honored their love and to share the gift of their hope with all who are marginalized and excluded by a church that cannot even give its pastors guidance on legal marriages of gay couples...well, it is the Spirit at work in stunning ways.

They certainly strike me as being more like Presbyterians than those who don't even talk to us or get to know us before they bring charges against us. (Which is how these charges were delivered.)

Tomorrow, Thursday, closing arguments will be made by counsel. Following that the PJC will deliberate until they have a decision about whether The Rev. Dr. Janie Spahr violated her vows and the rule of church law by performing legal same gender marriages. The PJC will deliberate. Their decision will say a great deal about who we are, what we believe in, and where we are headed.

What will be certain - what is certain now - is that through these hearings, Janie and these couples have given this church a chance to be faithful, courageous, and prophetic in leading this church through these times instead of into the shadows of what we once were. To the rest of us they have given us a wonderful gift and a blessing of huge proportions.

And I join others in awe of them and with deep thanks for their courage and heart.