Dear Ray,
Thank you so much for your recent YouTube "It Gets Better!" video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy20WU1xzTI
Your words and those of all the participants who have stepped forward with such powerful witness and encouragement will help countless young people.
In honor of the project, I would like to write a bit about the corrosive and distorting power of the Closet.
As you know, the "Closet" is a metaphor used to describe how people hide important parts of themselves, typically their sexual orientation or gender identity. We know that many LGBT folks cannot be open; the world is just too unsafe for them right now. Families and friends of LGBT people can also find themselves in a kind of Closet, as they may fear that telling the truth will expose them and their loved ones to harm.
The Closet can protect people, but it also inflicts great harm on the world, as those within it are rendered silent and invisible. Individuals and communities may express hostility to LGBT people or indifference to homophobic prejudice because the Closet prevents them from seeing the pain that they cause. Others may even exploit the power of the Closet, knowing that their hostility will further drive LGBT people and their loved ones into silence.
Regardless of a particular person's motive, those who do not appreciate the corrosive power of the Closet fail to realize that it leaves us all with an incomplete and distorted view of our communities and the world.
The influence of the Closet on members of the church (both LGBT and straight people) has been particularly powerful.
The Closet has always impeded understanding in our faith community, replacing thoughtful study with a series of repetitious and divisive interactions. Ministers who have freed themselves or helped free others from the Closet and all those ministers who courageously dare to treat LGBT persons as equals face censure, lawsuits, and other forms of pressure. The message to those who remain in the Closet is painful and tragically clear: Stay where you are, silent and invisible.
Clarity, mutual understanding and the Closet simply do not go well together.
Certainly the power of the Closet is understood by those who use it strategically and by those who have felt its weight and burden, keeping them anxious and intimidated.
However, I think many Presbyterians are unaware of the magnitude of this power, given the Closet's silencing effect. And most importantly, it is not clearly understood that the power of the Closet is NOT a spiritual one.
It is a potent secular and cultural force, based on fear; it relies on the human need to survive and negotiate within one's world. All institutions that exclude LGBT people, both adults and teenagers, use the Closet as a tool.
And it is not a benign tool.
Insisting that some people feel shame and guilt for a core part of their identity and existence (much less for living and thriving on an equal footing) is - at its heart - an act of aggression.
This is true whether or not one acknowledges (or is aware of) this dynamic or whether its negative consequences are intentional or unintentional.
Teaching young people (be they heterosexual or LGBT) that there are two groups of humans - one group that is entitled to full equality and inclusion, and one group that is not - is especially damaging.
The outcome may even, as we have recently witnessed in these teenage suicides, be deadly.
For the Closet's existence is based on powerful manipulation; BUT it is also a means of control that is diminishing in the world at an increasingly rapid pace.
It is breaking apart in a seemingly sudden way. And as it fades, it releases its relentless grip on all of us: gay and straight, open or not, conservative or liberal or in-between.
For we have ALL been influenced by the Closet, as it has distorted our view of the world and of each other.
As the Closet crumbles, we will see how this change will affect our lives, our denomination and the lives of the younger generations who will, we hope, live in a world without it.
Those who have opposed equality within faith communities (and within the secular world) are perhaps beginning to realize that some of the "success" they have enjoyed historically may not have been due to the strength or accuracy of their ideas, but rather owes much to the Closet, which has left countless people silent, invisible, and afraid.
Elie Weisel has stated so clearly:
"Silence never helps the oppressed. Only the oppressor."
Understanding the basic fact that most people are heterosexual and some people are not will be a necessary part of the way forward. Without the distortion of the Closet, this fact is becoming more apparent with each passing day.
I agree that thirty years clearly is a long time for Presbyterians to study this reality and still be so baffled and at odds with each other.
The confusion has probably been compounded by the oft-repeated, defensive notion that "No one is being forced into the Closet around here! We don't know what you're talking about."
This is actually just another layer of the classic "Silent Contract" of a troubled relationship: "Don't 'name' what has actually been happening."
Because we know that whenever it IS safe, people (both LGBT folks and their families) are usually open. When LGBT people and their loved ones are intimidated into silence, it only adds insult to injury to pretend that no one is being manipulated.
In spite of all this, I remain optimistic! Thanks to you, and your courageous colleagues, the world will be a safer place for the upcoming generations. The "It Gets Better!" initiative is creative, life-affirming and generous.
Perhaps in some way it will help the church break free, recognize the Closet for what it is, and make it a relic of an ungracious and often cruel age, replacing age-old distortion with clarity and a spirit of openness.
Warm regards to all,
Many thanks,
Karen Ellen Kavey
Non-ruling Elder, PC(USA)
Confirmed May, 1958.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
The price: Arizona and More
This is an excerpt from a sermon delivered this morning at Jan Hus Presbyerian Church and Neighborhood House. I had to write something about the terrible tragedy in Arizona and make it part of this morning's worship. It is, I think, exactly where it belongs. [Excerpt follows] Full sermon posted later. http://www.janhus.org/
...but before I go any further, a disclaimer: I don’t believe that the pulpit in a congregation is a place for political debate. Policy issues, yes; politics, no. It is one thing to mobilize people for or against a policy and quite another to galvanize folk behind a particular politician or party. Not every cleric sees it that way.
So, this is about policy and practices that have led us to another horrendous and violent tragedy in Tucson, Arizona. A horror, yesterday, in which an individual on the fringe with anti-government tendencies, and in his early twenties, entered a supermarket center, where Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was meeting with her constituents. The individual approached the congresswoman and fired, continuing to spray bullets into the crowd. Six people died, 13 are injured, with the Congresswoman, herself, in critical condition. He is in custody and a potential accomplice is being sought.
Last year, following Congressman Giffords vote in favor of health care reform legislation, her office in Tucson was vandalized. The 40 year-old-congresswoman, had this to say at that time:
“This is a situation where people really need to realize that the rhetoric of firing people up really has consequences.”
Our prayers are with all those caught up in this terrible tragedy. My prayers are also that the practice of politicians and media in promoting or discounting policy decisions through lies, derision, misinformation, bigotry and deception cease. Just stop.
Just as our actions of following the teachings of the Gospel in the Spirit in which they were intended somehow brought us and others here, the deception that had become part of the policy making process in this country is producing the opposite results that anyone – from any party or any agency – could ever – should ever condone.
For a very long time, I have charged this and other denominations with being complicit in the violence toward the LGBT/Q community because of the practices of exclusion and bias in refusing full participation to gay people. The policies of a church that prevent people from being members feed a segment of the population with an endorsement for their hatred and an added impetus for a Second Amendment remedy or worse.
When Matthew Shepherd was murdered in October 1998, I was sure, hopeful that people would wake up about the violence foisted on people who were marginalized, in general, and gay people in particular. It’s taken a long time and there’s still more to go. Some changes? Yes.
You are sitting in a church this morning, one of the few in the country, who would call an openly gay person to serve as its minister. So, the fact that I serve here in the temporary position of Stated Supply Pastor as a gay man is something that would not happen in the great majority of the 11,000 Presbyterian churches in this country, simply because I am gay.
Still, I hope that the tragedy in Arizona stays in the media long enough for us to change. It will take a while. That’s no reason to give up, in fact, it’s the opposite.
This compartmentalization of people, marketing of lies and fear, elevated hyperbole toward outcomes of particular decisions – in religions and governments, alike, has to stop.
Just as we, this morning, are not well pleased with the viral hatred that has shown its ugly self once again in Tucson, let us not lose heart. Instead, let us call this church, our temples, our places of worship, our government, and all others to a higher standard of justice and equality for all.
Surely, both God and we will be well-pleased in however we can help that to happen.
May the slightly modified words of Isaiah be words that can be attributed to us, as well:
“Here are my servants, whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights; I have put my spirit upon them; they will bring forth justice...”
Amen
...but before I go any further, a disclaimer: I don’t believe that the pulpit in a congregation is a place for political debate. Policy issues, yes; politics, no. It is one thing to mobilize people for or against a policy and quite another to galvanize folk behind a particular politician or party. Not every cleric sees it that way.
So, this is about policy and practices that have led us to another horrendous and violent tragedy in Tucson, Arizona. A horror, yesterday, in which an individual on the fringe with anti-government tendencies, and in his early twenties, entered a supermarket center, where Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was meeting with her constituents. The individual approached the congresswoman and fired, continuing to spray bullets into the crowd. Six people died, 13 are injured, with the Congresswoman, herself, in critical condition. He is in custody and a potential accomplice is being sought.
Last year, following Congressman Giffords vote in favor of health care reform legislation, her office in Tucson was vandalized. The 40 year-old-congresswoman, had this to say at that time:
“This is a situation where people really need to realize that the rhetoric of firing people up really has consequences.”
Our prayers are with all those caught up in this terrible tragedy. My prayers are also that the practice of politicians and media in promoting or discounting policy decisions through lies, derision, misinformation, bigotry and deception cease. Just stop.
Just as our actions of following the teachings of the Gospel in the Spirit in which they were intended somehow brought us and others here, the deception that had become part of the policy making process in this country is producing the opposite results that anyone – from any party or any agency – could ever – should ever condone.
For a very long time, I have charged this and other denominations with being complicit in the violence toward the LGBT/Q community because of the practices of exclusion and bias in refusing full participation to gay people. The policies of a church that prevent people from being members feed a segment of the population with an endorsement for their hatred and an added impetus for a Second Amendment remedy or worse.
When Matthew Shepherd was murdered in October 1998, I was sure, hopeful that people would wake up about the violence foisted on people who were marginalized, in general, and gay people in particular. It’s taken a long time and there’s still more to go. Some changes? Yes.
You are sitting in a church this morning, one of the few in the country, who would call an openly gay person to serve as its minister. So, the fact that I serve here in the temporary position of Stated Supply Pastor as a gay man is something that would not happen in the great majority of the 11,000 Presbyterian churches in this country, simply because I am gay.
Still, I hope that the tragedy in Arizona stays in the media long enough for us to change. It will take a while. That’s no reason to give up, in fact, it’s the opposite.
This compartmentalization of people, marketing of lies and fear, elevated hyperbole toward outcomes of particular decisions – in religions and governments, alike, has to stop.
Just as we, this morning, are not well pleased with the viral hatred that has shown its ugly self once again in Tucson, let us not lose heart. Instead, let us call this church, our temples, our places of worship, our government, and all others to a higher standard of justice and equality for all.
Surely, both God and we will be well-pleased in however we can help that to happen.
May the slightly modified words of Isaiah be words that can be attributed to us, as well:
“Here are my servants, whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights; I have put my spirit upon them; they will bring forth justice...”
Amen
Friday, January 7, 2011
Jean McFaddin and Susan Falk! Thanks for leading the way! As always...
Jean McFaddin, Susan Falk Published: September 11, 2010 New York Times
Jean Eleanor McFaddin and Susan Elaine Falk were married Monday at their home in Ridgefield, Conn. The Rev. Ray Bagnuolo, a Presbyterian minister, performed the nondenominational ceremony.
More Video
Janie Spahr: Minister puts her faith in 'yes': Presbyterian doctrine won't let her officiate at same-sex weddings. A lesbian herself, she says she won't quit the church she loves.
SAN FRANCISCO -- The first time the Rev. Jane Adams Spahr was brought to trial by the Presbyterian Church, the prosecutor in the 1992 case likened her to an "addictive gambler," a "confirmed bank robber" and a "habitual child abuser."
The third time she was brought to trial, by the church she loves and refuses to leave, a religious tribunal found her guilty of violating the Presbyterian constitution. But then several of its members apologized to Spahr, and their decision admonished not the faithful minister but the faith itself. More
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Why I will vote for 10-A
This is my response posted today on Bruce Reyes-Chow's blog, asking people to write in why they will vote "Yes" on 10-A, the modified version of G-6.0106b. Please add your comments to his page, as well.
Summary: A vote for the ratification of 10A is a vote for one another. Perhaps the new thing God is doing in this world is giving us a chance to vote for one another in becoming a church that finally says, "Enough. We will not participate in the violence of the world, in this or any way. We will trust that God would never call us to such a place. We will take the risk that is part of the inherent call of every Christian - to love one another, without qualification."
This is personal. This is not an "issue." This is about real people and real lives being affected greatly by the decision that is before the presbyteries. This is about people you love and love you. Please, vote with me, for one another. And let us move on...
- Ray Bagnuolo, New York, NY
- Twitter: raybagnuolo; Facebook: Ray Bagnuolo; bagnuolo.blogspot.com;
- Presbytery of New York City, Minister Member; Voting Date Spring 2011
- Reason 1 for voting in favor of ratification: G-6.0106b should never have been inserted in the Book of Order, in the first place. This is first, about writing a wrong.
- Reason 2 for voting in favor of ratification: A vote for 10-A is a vote for one another, as Christians and witnesses to the world.
- Reason 3 for voting in favor of ratification: How could we ever accept complicity in the violence surrounding exclusion in general, and the gay community in particular, regardless of how unintentional that complicity might be. What better indications that 10-A needs to be ratified than to erase the role we have in the shunning and silence?
- My greatest hopes are that we embrace one another, forgive each other for the hurt and anguish and vow to enter into a community that no longer abides by fear. I wish, also, that the leadership at the highest levels of this church speak out against this violence toward our sisters and brothers - as we do about other worldly horrors. I hope for the leadership silence to be filled, instead, with voices of support for members of the church they serve.
- No person in the work for including people who are LGBT, that I know of, has ever suggested that the resolution should be in forcing others out. That has been the wish, desire, effort on the part of many who oppose people who are LGBT. To suggest that we be held hostage for fear of others leaving is just that - a fear. It is also not a true condition. People leave and join all the time for different reasons. To place the burden of membership on the shoulders of a group some are trying to keep out of church leadership is just another form of violence, a political spin, which has no place in this (or any other) church.
- In a post-B world (already begun) we focus on healing, in full display for others to see - in and out of our church. There is no question in my mind that we as Presbyterians are called to this time to help heal this world, while opening our churches, pulpits, and personal interaction with one another to carry the Gospel in a fullness that has long been missing.
- As a Minister of Word and Sacrament, ordained as an openly gay man, while refusing to abide by G-6.0106b, I know the faithfulness of others, who like Jesus, set their face on Jerusalem, regardless of the risk, because it was the right, just, faithful thing to do. Scripture calls us to one another, even when we are not always comfortable with one another. This is not about comfort. It is about a change for love, which is all about Scripture.
Summary: A vote for the ratification of 10A is a vote for one another. Perhaps the new thing God is doing in this world is giving us a chance to vote for one another in becoming a church that finally says, "Enough. We will not participate in the violence of the world, in this or any way. We will trust that God would never call us to such a place. We will take the risk that is part of the inherent call of every Christian - to love one another, without qualification."
This is personal. This is not an "issue." This is about real people and real lives being affected greatly by the decision that is before the presbyteries. This is about people you love and love you. Please, vote with me, for one another. And let us move on...
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
PCUSA: Yes on 10-A; A Vote for One Another
This post refers to upcoming votes in presbyteries on ratifying Amendment 10-A, which modifies the language of G-6.0106b, the amendment in the Book of Order mostly used to keep folk who are LGBT out of leadership roles. Bagnuolo, an openly gay ordained minister who refused to abide by G-6.0106b as a matter of conscience during his examination, talks about a vote for one another and the need to finally become the welcoming church we have long been called to be.
Sorry...the audio and video are a little out of synch. Trying to figure out why. I'll post just an audio file a little later. Thanks for bearing with me as I learn how to do these videos.
Sorry...the audio and video are a little out of synch. Trying to figure out why. I'll post just an audio file a little later. Thanks for bearing with me as I learn how to do these videos.
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