Loving you...so much

December 22, 2012

Dear Friends,

I heard one of the reporters say that the horrific loss of life at Sandy Hook Elementary School was the worst act of terror and violence we have experienced as a nation since 9/11. I don’t know how we measure such things, but I understood what the reporter meant. I understood because of the deep familiar feelings both evoked: shock, sorrow, grief, the inability to process any of it, and the desire, powerless as it initially feels, to help and change things – to hope we can change things. To believe it: we can change things.

Like everyone else, I’ve been struggling with being part of a society that could get to the point where this could happen. What have we done wrong? Where have we lost, whatever we have lost? And as a minister, I’ve been struggling to respond to the same questions and more that others have of us who serve. One answer that comes easily is that more violence and more guns is not the answer.

From there, not so easy…

I remember the assassination of John F. Kennedy, and remember thinking that could never happen again, only to lose Robert and Martin a short time later.

I remember thinking after the murder of Matthew Shepard that no one could ever condone violence or homophobia again.

I remember the chaining and dragging death of James Byrd, Jr., sure that we would wake up to the inhumanity of racism, segregation, discrimination. Surely, after his death things would change.

And, I could add more…so could any of us. The prayer and hope we have is that out of tragedy some great change of heart and nation and world will come. Something will come of the pain and sorrow to honor those who suffered. Who continue to suffer…

The lives lost at Sandy Hook Elementary School have dulled me. It is the way of mourning, which I feel from this distance – far from being able to imagine the grief of the families and the community of Newtown during these days and those to come. We all now carry the loss of the children and adults with us. Distance, geographical or otherwise cannot be a balm to assuage our own sorrow. As hard as it may be to “stay close” in whatever ways we may – it is our responsibility to do so, or these lives lost will become part of what we once hoped for. That loss has already happened for the families. Let it not happen to us as a nation.

For many of us, this is a time when we remember the birth of a child who would live into and suffer his own great violence. As with so many traditions, the message he carried of peace, hope, resurrection, and a loving God was a radical one and a message that others sought to expunge, protecting their own interests and power. We face some of those same interests and powers now; those who seek to quiet what needs to be done, letting the news cycle add these lives to those too many lost before. Arming and protecting ourselves so that love becomes a quaint idea in an ever more violent world – is not an answer.

For me, this Christmas, especially, is a reminder that Jesus died loving us, knowing that he was loved, and promising the same to all of humanity. It occurs to me that the children and the lives lost in Newtown died loving, as well, filled with their joys and laughter, loving their families because they were loved by their families and their God. There is peace in that truth.

From there, we will all have to search our hearts about what we will do. As part of those seeking welcoming and inclusion in our church and this world for sisters and brothers who are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender – we know the violence and marginalization; we know the societal illnesses of others directed at us. We also know that our response has always been to love others, as difficult as that might be, to get to know one another, come together, and discover that what we share is greater than any of our differences. And it begins like that…

Whatever we may do to end the violence and change this society on broad local or national scales, whatever we may do to try and somehow honor the great loss of our family in Newtown and in countless other places, let us begin by loving each other. If there is reconciliation that has been put off – let it be embraced and healed. Let every prayer and act be an act of love and kindness. Even when we don’t get it right, the attempt itself is an act of love. From there, change will happen.

In our faith, we believe that God welcomes us home in the glory of true resurrection. We believe that all those who have left this world, however they have left this world, are embraced in Love and Joy and Wonder beyond our imaginings. They are now with the Child we remember at Christmas, helping us in a different way. A much needed way.

Let us ask God and them, in all the Love they are and all the ways we know God – to be with us and guide us this day and in all the days to come. We have much to do and we are not alone.

In this Spirit and embrace, with these thoughts, promises and more in our hearts, and loving you all...so very much,

Merry Christmas from us all.

Ray

Ray Bagnuolo, Minister Evangelist
That All May Freely Serve
1-877-TAMFS-64

Moving a Church Forward with Love and Justice for the Gay Community

Standing on the Side of Love & Justice

Monday, October 31 2011 @ 09:32 AM More Light Presbyterians are committed to the achievement of spiritual, ordination and marriage equality for LGBT persons within our Church and equal rights in civil society. More Light Presbyterians continues to work with others toward marriage equality, including changes in the Directory for Worship, and requests for Authoritative Interpretation. MLP supports the freedom and discretion of sessions to extend hospitality to same gender loving couples seeking to join their lives in the commitment of marriage. MLP claims that same freedom and discretion for teaching elders to preside at marriage services for same gender loving couples, especially as more states move to legalize these marriages. We oppose all attempts by any entity to rescind the gains for justice punctuated by the passage of G-2.0104. Adopted by the MLP Board of Directors in Rochester, NY on September 2, 2011 Reflecting upon MLP's Statement of moving forward for marriage equality in the PC(USA), just a few comments at this point.   The courage and spirit of people who are LGBT, their families, friends, and allies have given great momentum to the change in this church. A change long overdue. The long-term exclusion of sisters and brothers is starting to be replaced with real equality. I am grateful to MLP, it's leadership, and all who support it in its dedication to BOTH constitutional change that makes marriage equality an inherent part of our form of government AND authoritative interpretations which free our ministers to marry same gender loving couples in states where legal.    We move forward in justice and love, welcoming all to join in this raising up and affirming the power of this church, the PCUSA, to witness and practice God's Love, in which no exclusion or injustice can survive, becoming a church in which people who identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender are welcomed with the same love and grace with which the Creator gave us life.   We know of the terrible pain and suffering that gay folk have been subjected to, in part because we who are gay have lived through too much of the inherent violence of exclusion ourselves. We recognize that we who are gay, our family, friends, and allies are looking to the leaders of this church and the pro-LGBT movement for real and honest change. And, we also recognize that we - all of us are the leaders. Please get involved. Bring your voice, your pen, your presence and votes at presbytery meetings to continue the momentum and progress of the 219th General Assembly.   Need help getting started? Contact MLP at www.mlp.org or drop me a note.   Ray

The right thing to do...

Audio File

The passage into NYS law of the Marriage Equality Act took relentless believers to make it happen. It also took more than forty years from what many consider to be the start of the Gay Rights Movement with the Stonewall Riots of 1969. It took forty years for the state in which those riots occurred to come full circle and legislate equality for those it once arrested for what is now legal.

It was also about that same time, in the early 1970's, that Sandy Brawders, a Candidate for Minister of Word and Sacrament stepped out on the floor of the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church and identified herself as a Lesbian. The amount of courage that took is reflected in the need to post security outside Sandy's hotel room that night in response to death threats she received following her statement. And, now, nearly forty years later, the PC(USA) passes legislation that removes language in its constitution used to keep people who are LGBT from being ordained.

There must be something to this forty years - two generations. And whatever it is - it's way too long.

Those who fought back the police at Stonewall or who shocked the church into an apoplectic fit like Sandy - only wanted what any of us want. And here's the thing, they were right before any law or change in constitution - said so. They were right before any of the hearts and minds that have changed and will continue to change - said so.

I hope those who are still in strong opposition to equality for folks who are LGBT will come around. What I truly hope for is that those who are not in opposition, who have been silent observers will lift their voices and clear their throats  as we move forward in this nation embracing equality and in the PC(USA) speaking firmly in favor of marriage for all.

The New York State Marriage Equality Act has within it a freedom that allows couples to be married here without any residency requirements. The church, not quite caught up with that which it should have been leading, continues to have restrictions on such marriages. That is wrong.

The PC(USA) in its highest of ecclesiastical courts will soon be considering a second appeal in the case against The Rev. Dr. Janie Adams Spahr for marrying same gender loving couples in California during the time in which it was legal. The charges against her? Among them is not following her ordination vows. Janie's response - "I would not have been following my ordination vows to provide pastoral care to all had I refused to marry those couples. How could I have done such a thing?" Interestingly, while her first hearing did find her guilty on that charge, the judicial commission also held the church constitution responsible for the decision they needed to make, applauding Janie on her  ministry of more than thirty years to the LGBT community. Did you just go, "Huh?" Yes, many of us are still shaking our heads.

Sandy, Janie, and the many others who have led movements toward dignity, inclusion, radical hospitality, all-embracing love, and justice for all were never wrong. They stood by the oppressed and resisted a system that was in error; a system that caused terrible damage that eventually others, too, recognized and repelled against, so much so that change was imposed upon the system itself. And with every change, understanding was given a new chance. Healing was given new breath. And love was affirmed. And, yes, if God smiles...God did. All seems good to me...

When it comes to refusing equality and opportunity for folk who are LGBT, whether in ordination or marriage or anything else, in whatever church, institution, or other group - those in opposition are wrong. They are wrong as well as culpable for the damage done to others in the name and support of their opposition, an especially egregious wrongdoing when done in the name of God.

Thanks to all those who continue to lead because they are faithful to their call and commitment to a love and justice greater than any institution. It is time for all of us to end the silence, raise our voices, and in the company of others step out of the closets and finish the work ahead. It's the right thing to do - no matter what anyone says.