Audio File
The passage into NYS law of the Marriage Equality Act took relentless believers to make it happen. It also took more than forty years from what many consider to be the start of the Gay Rights Movement with the Stonewall Riots of 1969. It took forty years for the state in which those riots occurred to come full circle and legislate equality for those it once arrested for what is now legal.
It was also about that same time, in the early 1970's, that Sandy Brawders, a Candidate for Minister of Word and Sacrament stepped out on the floor of the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church and identified herself as a Lesbian. The amount of courage that took is reflected in the need to post security outside Sandy's hotel room that night in response to death threats she received following her statement. And, now, nearly forty years later, the PC(USA) passes legislation that removes language in its constitution used to keep people who are LGBT from being ordained.
There must be something to this forty years - two generations. And whatever it is - it's way too long.
Those who fought back the police at Stonewall or who shocked the church into an apoplectic fit like Sandy - only wanted what any of us want. And here's the thing, they were right before any law or change in constitution - said so. They were right before any of the hearts and minds that have changed and will continue to change - said so.
I hope those who are still in strong opposition to equality for folks who are LGBT will come around. What I truly hope for is that those who are not in opposition, who have been silent observers will lift their voices and clear their throats as we move forward in this nation embracing equality and in the PC(USA) speaking firmly in favor of marriage for all.
The New York State Marriage Equality Act has within it a freedom that allows couples to be married here without any residency requirements. The church, not quite caught up with that which it should have been leading, continues to have restrictions on such marriages. That is wrong.
The PC(USA) in its highest of ecclesiastical courts will soon be considering a second appeal in the case against The Rev. Dr. Janie Adams Spahr for marrying same gender loving couples in California during the time in which it was legal. The charges against her? Among them is not following her ordination vows. Janie's response - "I would not have been following my ordination vows to provide pastoral care to all had I refused to marry those couples. How could I have done such a thing?" Interestingly, while her first hearing did find her guilty on that charge, the judicial commission also held the church constitution responsible for the decision they needed to make, applauding Janie on her ministry of more than thirty years to the LGBT community. Did you just go, "Huh?" Yes, many of us are still shaking our heads.
Sandy, Janie, and the many others who have led movements toward dignity, inclusion, radical hospitality, all-embracing love, and justice for all were never wrong. They stood by the oppressed and resisted a system that was in error; a system that caused terrible damage that eventually others, too, recognized and repelled against, so much so that change was imposed upon the system itself. And with every change, understanding was given a new chance. Healing was given new breath. And love was affirmed. And, yes, if God smiles...God did. All seems good to me...
When it comes to refusing equality and opportunity for folk who are LGBT, whether in ordination or marriage or anything else, in whatever church, institution, or other group - those in opposition are wrong. They are wrong as well as culpable for the damage done to others in the name and support of their opposition, an especially egregious wrongdoing when done in the name of God.
Thanks to all those who continue to lead because they are faithful to their call and commitment to a love and justice greater than any institution. It is time for all of us to end the silence, raise our voices, and in the company of others step out of the closets and finish the work ahead. It's the right thing to do - no matter what anyone says.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
It's divided us for too long...
Friends,
I have always believed that it is G-6.0106b that has divided us. Not the people, not their hearts, not their voices - but G-6.0106b. I have always believed that had this amendment not been added to the Book of Order folk would not have been forced to galvanize around one side or the other. Had it not been added to the Book of Order the lives of people who are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender would not have become a litmus test for the faithfulness of an entire church. With the approaching ratification of Amendment 10-A, we have a chance to unify in a way that has been absent for decades.
With others, I have felt enormous sadness over the marginalization of people like me who were gay, or otherwise identified themselves as Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender. I have felt the hurt of allies, family, and friends who watched those they loved discriminated against in a church they loved as well. And with great heart and hope, I and so many others have been carried by the unceasing support and belief that our cause was faithful and our call was to stay the course.
Now, with ratification of 10-A imminent, we have an opportunity to unite - in our differences and our agreements. We have an opportunity to unite in the new missions ahead, trusting in God and the Holy Spirit to reveal a witness of healing and welcoming for all. A healing and welcoming that has been too long buried under the weight of G-6.0106b.
Having known the feeling of being pushed aside by the church, I know that there are others who may soon feel that the church they know and love has marginalized them with the ratification of 10-A. I would only pray and ask that we give each other a chance. The sisters and brothers who are members of the gay community have long worked for a fully inclusive church, not to push others away, but to draw us all in more closely. We are soon to be uniquely positioned to carry the Gospel to a world that needs us to step beyond our differences and give God the lead in this new way we are called.
This world that is broken in many ways needs us to step into the tension of inviting others to a spiritual home that welcomes all. That means we will first have to learn to welcome one another more intentionally. That celebration is the one that I pray for. That is celebration that awaits us. The ratification of 10-A is one more step toward a church that can really make a difference in ending our long-standing struggle and the start of the healing to which God calls us all.
Will this be easy. I suspect not. However, we are a church exceptionally practiced at embracing the challenges for which others seek faithful leadership. I believe God gave us this gift and challenge because of who we are, what is needed in this world, and our ability to see it through.
In the words of this morning's Gospel of John: (John 20:21): "Peace to you. Just as God has sent me, I send you."
Let us go forth together. It's been too long we've been apart in this way. I and others are ready to do all we can to move this healing and new unity in the PC(USA) and beyond. Please, let us hear from you and how we might be of help.
Ray Bagnuolo, Minister of Word and Sacrament
I have always believed that it is G-6.0106b that has divided us. Not the people, not their hearts, not their voices - but G-6.0106b. I have always believed that had this amendment not been added to the Book of Order folk would not have been forced to galvanize around one side or the other. Had it not been added to the Book of Order the lives of people who are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender would not have become a litmus test for the faithfulness of an entire church. With the approaching ratification of Amendment 10-A, we have a chance to unify in a way that has been absent for decades.
With others, I have felt enormous sadness over the marginalization of people like me who were gay, or otherwise identified themselves as Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender. I have felt the hurt of allies, family, and friends who watched those they loved discriminated against in a church they loved as well. And with great heart and hope, I and so many others have been carried by the unceasing support and belief that our cause was faithful and our call was to stay the course.
Now, with ratification of 10-A imminent, we have an opportunity to unite - in our differences and our agreements. We have an opportunity to unite in the new missions ahead, trusting in God and the Holy Spirit to reveal a witness of healing and welcoming for all. A healing and welcoming that has been too long buried under the weight of G-6.0106b.
Having known the feeling of being pushed aside by the church, I know that there are others who may soon feel that the church they know and love has marginalized them with the ratification of 10-A. I would only pray and ask that we give each other a chance. The sisters and brothers who are members of the gay community have long worked for a fully inclusive church, not to push others away, but to draw us all in more closely. We are soon to be uniquely positioned to carry the Gospel to a world that needs us to step beyond our differences and give God the lead in this new way we are called.
This world that is broken in many ways needs us to step into the tension of inviting others to a spiritual home that welcomes all. That means we will first have to learn to welcome one another more intentionally. That celebration is the one that I pray for. That is celebration that awaits us. The ratification of 10-A is one more step toward a church that can really make a difference in ending our long-standing struggle and the start of the healing to which God calls us all.
Will this be easy. I suspect not. However, we are a church exceptionally practiced at embracing the challenges for which others seek faithful leadership. I believe God gave us this gift and challenge because of who we are, what is needed in this world, and our ability to see it through.
In the words of this morning's Gospel of John: (John 20:21): "Peace to you. Just as God has sent me, I send you."
Let us go forth together. It's been too long we've been apart in this way. I and others are ready to do all we can to move this healing and new unity in the PC(USA) and beyond. Please, let us hear from you and how we might be of help.
Ray Bagnuolo, Minister of Word and Sacrament
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Even when fear sounds reasonable - it's still fear
There has been a lot written lately about the PC(USA) being "deathly ill." The symptons are attributed to a contagious virus, carried by some fellow Christians. The source of the diagnosis does not exactly say that, however, the intent to form a "more perfect union" elsewhere, away from the contagion makes that pretty clear. Away and protected in a designed bubble where communication with the outside carriers of the dread disease would be, unmistakenly, at arms' lengths, while the air inside remained pure.
It is no mistake that the notice of serious illness comes for the PC(USA) in the midst of a ratification campaign on Amendment 10-A. And, it is no mistake that the clear cause of this malady is the possibility that people who are LGBT might be fully welcomed in this church.
OMG. Imagine that.
Yes, fellow LGBT Christians, for some, we are the cause of all that is wrong with the world. We are the plague against which the immunization of distance and separation is the only hope. As intelligent and thoughtful as some may be in their compositions, essays, and comments, it is still all about fear. Fear, simply, of us.
There is even a progressive group that is referred to in the comments of those proclaiming the near death of the PC(USA) as understanding. They are seen by the diagnosticians as recognizing the validity of the position of those who would secede if we don't. In an oblique reference, the group welcomes the conversation.
More conversation? Naw. Are any of them gay. Have any of them read Martin's "Letter from a Birmingham Jail."
This Sunday's reading of Matthew includes Matthew 5:25 "Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him/her, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison."
Coming to terms is not a command to acquiesce or entertain bigotry, but a charge to do everything one can to settle a dispute. Once all has been done that can be done, one moves forward and continues to love the accusers and those in fear of the accused.
That's where we are. We now go forward and continue to work toward ratification of 10-A, standing clearly behind its tenets and being clear to others that this is a church, at least for those of us who believe so, that can no longer marginalize our sisters and brothers who are LGBT.
And we make it clear, that when all is said and done and our doors are opened wide to all as sisters and brothers of the same Creator - that we will not only turn around the irrelevance of church that so many complain of but that we will more importantly discover there was never anything to fear, at all.
Nope, not a thing.
It is no mistake that the notice of serious illness comes for the PC(USA) in the midst of a ratification campaign on Amendment 10-A. And, it is no mistake that the clear cause of this malady is the possibility that people who are LGBT might be fully welcomed in this church.
OMG. Imagine that.
Yes, fellow LGBT Christians, for some, we are the cause of all that is wrong with the world. We are the plague against which the immunization of distance and separation is the only hope. As intelligent and thoughtful as some may be in their compositions, essays, and comments, it is still all about fear. Fear, simply, of us.
There is even a progressive group that is referred to in the comments of those proclaiming the near death of the PC(USA) as understanding. They are seen by the diagnosticians as recognizing the validity of the position of those who would secede if we don't. In an oblique reference, the group welcomes the conversation.
More conversation? Naw. Are any of them gay. Have any of them read Martin's "Letter from a Birmingham Jail."
This Sunday's reading of Matthew includes Matthew 5:25 "Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him/her, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison."
Coming to terms is not a command to acquiesce or entertain bigotry, but a charge to do everything one can to settle a dispute. Once all has been done that can be done, one moves forward and continues to love the accusers and those in fear of the accused.
That's where we are. We now go forward and continue to work toward ratification of 10-A, standing clearly behind its tenets and being clear to others that this is a church, at least for those of us who believe so, that can no longer marginalize our sisters and brothers who are LGBT.
And we make it clear, that when all is said and done and our doors are opened wide to all as sisters and brothers of the same Creator - that we will not only turn around the irrelevance of church that so many complain of but that we will more importantly discover there was never anything to fear, at all.
Nope, not a thing.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Opening Welcome, Sunday, February 6, 2011
When I hear things being described as complex, I often wonder if the word complex is really a code word for delay. Certainly, there are complex procedures I would never want to see rushed, such as planned major surgery. Yet, survival – even under complex situations – sometimes calls for quick action and a willingness to assume more risk than might be acceptable under different conditions. Delay, in other words, is past its time.
Yesterday, while listening to the pundits discuss the unfolding events in Egypt, one of the non-Egyptian journalists acknowledged that he believed it was time for a change but that any transition to democracy should be slow, cautious, and well-planned so the right people are elected. A thoughtful and impressive Egyptian reporter took the journalist to task. She asked him what gave him the right define democracy as anything other than the will of the people of Egypt who had been under the current regime for more than three decades. It was theirs, not his or any other's to decide. And it was time...
It reminded me of The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and the letter he wrote from the Birmingham jail, where he was imprisoned for his non-violent protests. Clergy, reporters, politicians, and others were encouraging him to “slow down, take it easy, and not rock the boat.” Martin, you see, knew it was time, as well.
By the time oppression, marginalization, and violence reaches the level of such protests as the ones we see today in Egypt, or have recently seen in Tunisia, the Sudan, and other places – or the ones that brought forth the Civil Rights Act, or even the ones today seeking inclusion for the LGBT community in our society and churches – we are already in critical condition. There has already been enough pain, suffering, and violence to perform emergency surgery. Complex or not. Delay is past its time.
Too often, too many people pay the price before the changes occur. Too often the most peaceful and loving are the first to experience violence.
Today, as we enter into prayer and open ourselves to the presence of Jesus in our lives, I think it is fair to say that he, too, would agree with Martin's words:
“But I must confess that I am not afraid of the word 'tension.' I have earnestly opposed violent tension, but there is a type of constructive, nonviolent tension which is necessary for growth.” The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Letter from a Birmingham Jail, April 16, 1963
As we approach the Communion Table this morning, living into this world that seems broken – and is – in many places, let us embrace the tension that produces growth, growth which will always be best nurtured – even in its tensest of moments – by love.
Come, let us worship God together.
Yesterday, while listening to the pundits discuss the unfolding events in Egypt, one of the non-Egyptian journalists acknowledged that he believed it was time for a change but that any transition to democracy should be slow, cautious, and well-planned so the right people are elected. A thoughtful and impressive Egyptian reporter took the journalist to task. She asked him what gave him the right define democracy as anything other than the will of the people of Egypt who had been under the current regime for more than three decades. It was theirs, not his or any other's to decide. And it was time...
It reminded me of The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and the letter he wrote from the Birmingham jail, where he was imprisoned for his non-violent protests. Clergy, reporters, politicians, and others were encouraging him to “slow down, take it easy, and not rock the boat.” Martin, you see, knew it was time, as well.
By the time oppression, marginalization, and violence reaches the level of such protests as the ones we see today in Egypt, or have recently seen in Tunisia, the Sudan, and other places – or the ones that brought forth the Civil Rights Act, or even the ones today seeking inclusion for the LGBT community in our society and churches – we are already in critical condition. There has already been enough pain, suffering, and violence to perform emergency surgery. Complex or not. Delay is past its time.
Too often, too many people pay the price before the changes occur. Too often the most peaceful and loving are the first to experience violence.
Today, as we enter into prayer and open ourselves to the presence of Jesus in our lives, I think it is fair to say that he, too, would agree with Martin's words:
“But I must confess that I am not afraid of the word 'tension.' I have earnestly opposed violent tension, but there is a type of constructive, nonviolent tension which is necessary for growth.” The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Letter from a Birmingham Jail, April 16, 1963
As we approach the Communion Table this morning, living into this world that seems broken – and is – in many places, let us embrace the tension that produces growth, growth which will always be best nurtured – even in its tensest of moments – by love.
Come, let us worship God together.
Friday, January 21, 2011
More than the ratification of 10-A
The continuing struggle for the full welcoming of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) faithful into the work and worship of the Presbyterian Church (USA) has become a cycle unto itself. The wheel of change continues to spin, with arguments for and against full inclusion. Messages often blur as the motion of the debate goes around the center upon which it turns.
Any movement relies upon a working structure, whether in the laws of motion or the polity of a church. However, in the PC(USA) a breakdown appears to have occurred, in which parts of its design have become litmus tests of its members’ faithfulness. As a result, the center and central mission of the PC(USA) has come under question based on how welcoming we will be depending upon a vote for or against this amendment. The answer is once more perceived to be wrapped up in a decision on ratification of Amendment 10-A, currently before the presbyteries. Simply, the answer to the question of our faithfulness cannot be scripted by any amendment. The ratification of 10-A can only bear witness to the deep faithfulness that long preceded any debate, overture, or constitution, for that matter. The ratification will bear witness to how we choose to love one another, reflecting how we see God’s love for us. This is about much more than the ratification of 10-A.
Surely, study, examination, and review are important to the foundations and direction of the PC(USA), those it serves, and the world in which it witnesses. Problematic is that in any community of faith such methods only go so far. They cannot travel to the fullness of the heart or its design by God, let alone define God’s intentions. No one can. The mystery of God’s presence in the heart is limited in human understanding. Rather, God offers us an invitation to the mystery and wonder of giving of one’s self, one’s community, one’s world unto the care of God through the longings and listening of the heart, as well as the study and examinations of the mind. In short, a response to God as Love calls us to love and welcome others – including every baptized brother and sister into the full work and worship of the PC(USA). To do otherwise is to ignore the heart and the mystery God has given us; a heart yearning for us to trust more than to study. Any study that points otherwise must be flawed.
Perhaps, this time, there will be enough constitutional arguments and shifting within the PC(USA) for the ratification of Amendment 10-A, making this church a prophetic witness and model for others to follow. Certainly, thoughtful individuals who are expert, scholarly, and faithful in the ways of the PC(USA), its Constitution, and its traditions have provided ample paths to making such a choice.
Whatever the exchange, no argument or position can claim God or Love for itself, alone. Further, no argument can claim God or Love to exclude what God has created. Lastly, what no argument can claim is that God as Love would ever accept or tolerate the violence that is inherent in any decision toward marginalization and oppression of those God has created and those God continues to call. We avoid the discussion of violence, perhaps because given the choice in such terms would easily end the separation we now practice. None of us wishes to be complicit in hate crimes or their foment, and yet, our language of distance, amplified by being a “church,” indeed has impact that causes others harm.
When all debate is exhausted and biblical scholars have made their considerable contributions, the last question to answer in choosing whether to ratify Amendment 10-A will be “How do we Love?” Or, perhaps, “How do we welcome others to God?”
The choice in favor of Amendment 10-A is a choice of Love. There are enough arguments to provide ongoing debate, even suggesting a pause. That will always be so, until our faithfulness goes beyond the debate, into the Love that precedes all – all. These guiding questions for final consideration in voting for ratification are suggested:
a) Can we be faithful by excluding our baptized sisters and brothers who are LGBT from the full work and worship of the PC(USA)? Is ours a God who excludes those God has created?
b) Can we be faithful to the teachings of Jesus and the Church by fostering a climate of violence towards our LGBT sisters and brothers, affirming others’ hatred and homophobia with our decisions to marginalize?
c) Can we be a faithful reflection of God as Love by using our Constitution or fears to create a class of people less welcome or worthy than others?
Were that this was simply a matter of making a decision about loving one another as God loves us. It may be that such love is still growing in us, but with a decision to ratify Amendment 10-A, it may be much closer than we think in leading us to the family and witness we are meant to be.
---
Ray Bagnuolo is an openly gay minister of Word and Sacrament. He currently serves Jan Hus Presbyterian Church and Neighborhood House and its inner city ministry in NYC. He was one of the few openly gay Candidates for minister of Word and Sacrament examined and cleared to seek a call since the passage of G-6.0106b, refusing to abide by the G-6.0106b as a matter of conscience during his examination in 2005. Ray also serves on the Board of More Light Presbyterians.
Download pdf File
Any movement relies upon a working structure, whether in the laws of motion or the polity of a church. However, in the PC(USA) a breakdown appears to have occurred, in which parts of its design have become litmus tests of its members’ faithfulness. As a result, the center and central mission of the PC(USA) has come under question based on how welcoming we will be depending upon a vote for or against this amendment. The answer is once more perceived to be wrapped up in a decision on ratification of Amendment 10-A, currently before the presbyteries. Simply, the answer to the question of our faithfulness cannot be scripted by any amendment. The ratification of 10-A can only bear witness to the deep faithfulness that long preceded any debate, overture, or constitution, for that matter. The ratification will bear witness to how we choose to love one another, reflecting how we see God’s love for us. This is about much more than the ratification of 10-A.
Surely, study, examination, and review are important to the foundations and direction of the PC(USA), those it serves, and the world in which it witnesses. Problematic is that in any community of faith such methods only go so far. They cannot travel to the fullness of the heart or its design by God, let alone define God’s intentions. No one can. The mystery of God’s presence in the heart is limited in human understanding. Rather, God offers us an invitation to the mystery and wonder of giving of one’s self, one’s community, one’s world unto the care of God through the longings and listening of the heart, as well as the study and examinations of the mind. In short, a response to God as Love calls us to love and welcome others – including every baptized brother and sister into the full work and worship of the PC(USA). To do otherwise is to ignore the heart and the mystery God has given us; a heart yearning for us to trust more than to study. Any study that points otherwise must be flawed.
Perhaps, this time, there will be enough constitutional arguments and shifting within the PC(USA) for the ratification of Amendment 10-A, making this church a prophetic witness and model for others to follow. Certainly, thoughtful individuals who are expert, scholarly, and faithful in the ways of the PC(USA), its Constitution, and its traditions have provided ample paths to making such a choice.
Whatever the exchange, no argument or position can claim God or Love for itself, alone. Further, no argument can claim God or Love to exclude what God has created. Lastly, what no argument can claim is that God as Love would ever accept or tolerate the violence that is inherent in any decision toward marginalization and oppression of those God has created and those God continues to call. We avoid the discussion of violence, perhaps because given the choice in such terms would easily end the separation we now practice. None of us wishes to be complicit in hate crimes or their foment, and yet, our language of distance, amplified by being a “church,” indeed has impact that causes others harm.
When all debate is exhausted and biblical scholars have made their considerable contributions, the last question to answer in choosing whether to ratify Amendment 10-A will be “How do we Love?” Or, perhaps, “How do we welcome others to God?”
The choice in favor of Amendment 10-A is a choice of Love. There are enough arguments to provide ongoing debate, even suggesting a pause. That will always be so, until our faithfulness goes beyond the debate, into the Love that precedes all – all. These guiding questions for final consideration in voting for ratification are suggested:
a) Can we be faithful by excluding our baptized sisters and brothers who are LGBT from the full work and worship of the PC(USA)? Is ours a God who excludes those God has created?
b) Can we be faithful to the teachings of Jesus and the Church by fostering a climate of violence towards our LGBT sisters and brothers, affirming others’ hatred and homophobia with our decisions to marginalize?
c) Can we be a faithful reflection of God as Love by using our Constitution or fears to create a class of people less welcome or worthy than others?
Were that this was simply a matter of making a decision about loving one another as God loves us. It may be that such love is still growing in us, but with a decision to ratify Amendment 10-A, it may be much closer than we think in leading us to the family and witness we are meant to be.
---
Ray Bagnuolo is an openly gay minister of Word and Sacrament. He currently serves Jan Hus Presbyterian Church and Neighborhood House and its inner city ministry in NYC. He was one of the few openly gay Candidates for minister of Word and Sacrament examined and cleared to seek a call since the passage of G-6.0106b, refusing to abide by the G-6.0106b as a matter of conscience during his examination in 2005. Ray also serves on the Board of More Light Presbyterians.
Download pdf File
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The Corrosive & Distorting Power of the Closet ~ by Karen Kavey
Dear Ray,
Thank you so much for your recent YouTube "It Gets Better!" video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy20WU1xzTI
Your words and those of all the participants who have stepped forward with such powerful witness and encouragement will help countless young people.
In honor of the project, I would like to write a bit about the corrosive and distorting power of the Closet.
As you know, the "Closet" is a metaphor used to describe how people hide important parts of themselves, typically their sexual orientation or gender identity. We know that many LGBT folks cannot be open; the world is just too unsafe for them right now. Families and friends of LGBT people can also find themselves in a kind of Closet, as they may fear that telling the truth will expose them and their loved ones to harm.
The Closet can protect people, but it also inflicts great harm on the world, as those within it are rendered silent and invisible. Individuals and communities may express hostility to LGBT people or indifference to homophobic prejudice because the Closet prevents them from seeing the pain that they cause. Others may even exploit the power of the Closet, knowing that their hostility will further drive LGBT people and their loved ones into silence.
Regardless of a particular person's motive, those who do not appreciate the corrosive power of the Closet fail to realize that it leaves us all with an incomplete and distorted view of our communities and the world.
The influence of the Closet on members of the church (both LGBT and straight people) has been particularly powerful.
The Closet has always impeded understanding in our faith community, replacing thoughtful study with a series of repetitious and divisive interactions. Ministers who have freed themselves or helped free others from the Closet and all those ministers who courageously dare to treat LGBT persons as equals face censure, lawsuits, and other forms of pressure. The message to those who remain in the Closet is painful and tragically clear: Stay where you are, silent and invisible.
Clarity, mutual understanding and the Closet simply do not go well together.
Certainly the power of the Closet is understood by those who use it strategically and by those who have felt its weight and burden, keeping them anxious and intimidated.
However, I think many Presbyterians are unaware of the magnitude of this power, given the Closet's silencing effect. And most importantly, it is not clearly understood that the power of the Closet is NOT a spiritual one.
It is a potent secular and cultural force, based on fear; it relies on the human need to survive and negotiate within one's world. All institutions that exclude LGBT people, both adults and teenagers, use the Closet as a tool.
And it is not a benign tool.
Insisting that some people feel shame and guilt for a core part of their identity and existence (much less for living and thriving on an equal footing) is - at its heart - an act of aggression.
This is true whether or not one acknowledges (or is aware of) this dynamic or whether its negative consequences are intentional or unintentional.
Teaching young people (be they heterosexual or LGBT) that there are two groups of humans - one group that is entitled to full equality and inclusion, and one group that is not - is especially damaging.
The outcome may even, as we have recently witnessed in these teenage suicides, be deadly.
For the Closet's existence is based on powerful manipulation; BUT it is also a means of control that is diminishing in the world at an increasingly rapid pace.
It is breaking apart in a seemingly sudden way. And as it fades, it releases its relentless grip on all of us: gay and straight, open or not, conservative or liberal or in-between.
For we have ALL been influenced by the Closet, as it has distorted our view of the world and of each other.
As the Closet crumbles, we will see how this change will affect our lives, our denomination and the lives of the younger generations who will, we hope, live in a world without it.
Those who have opposed equality within faith communities (and within the secular world) are perhaps beginning to realize that some of the "success" they have enjoyed historically may not have been due to the strength or accuracy of their ideas, but rather owes much to the Closet, which has left countless people silent, invisible, and afraid.
Elie Weisel has stated so clearly:
"Silence never helps the oppressed. Only the oppressor."
Understanding the basic fact that most people are heterosexual and some people are not will be a necessary part of the way forward. Without the distortion of the Closet, this fact is becoming more apparent with each passing day.
I agree that thirty years clearly is a long time for Presbyterians to study this reality and still be so baffled and at odds with each other.
The confusion has probably been compounded by the oft-repeated, defensive notion that "No one is being forced into the Closet around here! We don't know what you're talking about."
This is actually just another layer of the classic "Silent Contract" of a troubled relationship: "Don't 'name' what has actually been happening."
Because we know that whenever it IS safe, people (both LGBT folks and their families) are usually open. When LGBT people and their loved ones are intimidated into silence, it only adds insult to injury to pretend that no one is being manipulated.
In spite of all this, I remain optimistic! Thanks to you, and your courageous colleagues, the world will be a safer place for the upcoming generations. The "It Gets Better!" initiative is creative, life-affirming and generous.
Perhaps in some way it will help the church break free, recognize the Closet for what it is, and make it a relic of an ungracious and often cruel age, replacing age-old distortion with clarity and a spirit of openness.
Warm regards to all,
Many thanks,
Karen Ellen Kavey
Non-ruling Elder, PC(USA)
Confirmed May, 1958.
Thank you so much for your recent YouTube "It Gets Better!" video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy20WU1xzTI
Your words and those of all the participants who have stepped forward with such powerful witness and encouragement will help countless young people.
In honor of the project, I would like to write a bit about the corrosive and distorting power of the Closet.
As you know, the "Closet" is a metaphor used to describe how people hide important parts of themselves, typically their sexual orientation or gender identity. We know that many LGBT folks cannot be open; the world is just too unsafe for them right now. Families and friends of LGBT people can also find themselves in a kind of Closet, as they may fear that telling the truth will expose them and their loved ones to harm.
The Closet can protect people, but it also inflicts great harm on the world, as those within it are rendered silent and invisible. Individuals and communities may express hostility to LGBT people or indifference to homophobic prejudice because the Closet prevents them from seeing the pain that they cause. Others may even exploit the power of the Closet, knowing that their hostility will further drive LGBT people and their loved ones into silence.
Regardless of a particular person's motive, those who do not appreciate the corrosive power of the Closet fail to realize that it leaves us all with an incomplete and distorted view of our communities and the world.
The influence of the Closet on members of the church (both LGBT and straight people) has been particularly powerful.
The Closet has always impeded understanding in our faith community, replacing thoughtful study with a series of repetitious and divisive interactions. Ministers who have freed themselves or helped free others from the Closet and all those ministers who courageously dare to treat LGBT persons as equals face censure, lawsuits, and other forms of pressure. The message to those who remain in the Closet is painful and tragically clear: Stay where you are, silent and invisible.
Clarity, mutual understanding and the Closet simply do not go well together.
Certainly the power of the Closet is understood by those who use it strategically and by those who have felt its weight and burden, keeping them anxious and intimidated.
However, I think many Presbyterians are unaware of the magnitude of this power, given the Closet's silencing effect. And most importantly, it is not clearly understood that the power of the Closet is NOT a spiritual one.
It is a potent secular and cultural force, based on fear; it relies on the human need to survive and negotiate within one's world. All institutions that exclude LGBT people, both adults and teenagers, use the Closet as a tool.
And it is not a benign tool.
Insisting that some people feel shame and guilt for a core part of their identity and existence (much less for living and thriving on an equal footing) is - at its heart - an act of aggression.
This is true whether or not one acknowledges (or is aware of) this dynamic or whether its negative consequences are intentional or unintentional.
Teaching young people (be they heterosexual or LGBT) that there are two groups of humans - one group that is entitled to full equality and inclusion, and one group that is not - is especially damaging.
The outcome may even, as we have recently witnessed in these teenage suicides, be deadly.
For the Closet's existence is based on powerful manipulation; BUT it is also a means of control that is diminishing in the world at an increasingly rapid pace.
It is breaking apart in a seemingly sudden way. And as it fades, it releases its relentless grip on all of us: gay and straight, open or not, conservative or liberal or in-between.
For we have ALL been influenced by the Closet, as it has distorted our view of the world and of each other.
As the Closet crumbles, we will see how this change will affect our lives, our denomination and the lives of the younger generations who will, we hope, live in a world without it.
Those who have opposed equality within faith communities (and within the secular world) are perhaps beginning to realize that some of the "success" they have enjoyed historically may not have been due to the strength or accuracy of their ideas, but rather owes much to the Closet, which has left countless people silent, invisible, and afraid.
Elie Weisel has stated so clearly:
"Silence never helps the oppressed. Only the oppressor."
Understanding the basic fact that most people are heterosexual and some people are not will be a necessary part of the way forward. Without the distortion of the Closet, this fact is becoming more apparent with each passing day.
I agree that thirty years clearly is a long time for Presbyterians to study this reality and still be so baffled and at odds with each other.
The confusion has probably been compounded by the oft-repeated, defensive notion that "No one is being forced into the Closet around here! We don't know what you're talking about."
This is actually just another layer of the classic "Silent Contract" of a troubled relationship: "Don't 'name' what has actually been happening."
Because we know that whenever it IS safe, people (both LGBT folks and their families) are usually open. When LGBT people and their loved ones are intimidated into silence, it only adds insult to injury to pretend that no one is being manipulated.
In spite of all this, I remain optimistic! Thanks to you, and your courageous colleagues, the world will be a safer place for the upcoming generations. The "It Gets Better!" initiative is creative, life-affirming and generous.
Perhaps in some way it will help the church break free, recognize the Closet for what it is, and make it a relic of an ungracious and often cruel age, replacing age-old distortion with clarity and a spirit of openness.
Warm regards to all,
Many thanks,
Karen Ellen Kavey
Non-ruling Elder, PC(USA)
Confirmed May, 1958.
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