Being taught to love

Mother Emmanuel AME Church


Being taught to love from Ray Bagnuolo on Vimeo.

Emmanuel AME Church, Charleston, SC

Our Arms and Prayers Around Emmanuel AME Church, Charleston, South Carolina.

SCOTUS, Jim Anderson, James Dale & Now...

Editor's Note: In the days ahead, an historic decision on marriage from Supreme Court of the United States will be announced, that began with with courage and commitment of folks like these. I asked Jim if he would write up an intro to his own involvement with the Supreme Court as an advisor to Jim Dale and his challenge before the Supreme Court following his expulsion as a Boy Scout leader, because he was gay. Here is a link to a documentary of the struggle, which includes the two James', produced almost 40 years ago! (Plays better on some browsers than others.) See Jim's Bio here at LGBTRAN

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From Jim Anderson:

I was “out of the closet” at Rutgers when I arrived there as an assistant professor in 1977.  Later when I became a full professor, I was the only out gay man that anyone knew about (of course there were others, but they didn’t flaunt it like I did), so I reaped many benefits.  When we had homophobic strife on campus the president appointed me chair of his President’s Select Committee on Lesbian and Gay concerns. We produced a landmark report that was copied widely around the country.

When I became associate dean of our school, my main management principle was Jesus’ turn the other cheek and take the blame.  I found this to be the most effective way to get past controversies and begin to deal with them.  It never hurt me to take the blame!  My dean knew what I was doing and supported me all the way.  He left all the internal administration to me.

At the same time, I became the faculty advisor to LGBT students and the main LGBT organization.  I met many promising young LGBT students in this role, and one was James Dale, whom I believe was president of our LGBT group for two years.  It was during this time that he got kicked out of the Boy Scouts, after achieving Eagle Scout status and becoming an assistant Scout Master. There was no explanation, so I encouraged him to enquire.

As this drama, portrayed in the video, unfolded, I encouraged him to pursue it, but I did my best to tell him, do this only if you want to, NOT because I want you to.  But he was hot to trot.  So watch the video and enjoy.

Lots of the LGBT students came to me with relationship problems.  I always told them to take their partners as they are or leave them, but don’t try to change them.  They will change, but not the way you necessarily want them to.  I would use my Rafael as an example.  I have been trying to change him for 44 years, and he does change, but NOT according to my “plan.”

Hugs, Jim

Ratification's Challenge: The Good News

The recent ratification of Amendment 14F by greater than a 2/3 majority of presbyteries reflects a powerful statement by the Presbyterian Church (USA) and its members. Added to the the changes in ordination and marriage equality, this ratified revision of the description of marriage - erases the constitutional barriers to inclusion based on gender and sexual identity in the denomination.

It is almost a moment too great to contemplate. Forty years and lifetimes of prayer and sacrifice; decades of marginalization met with steadfast resistance; the resulting study of the bible and texts; the lifting up of God's glorious diversity in one another; and the refusal to let others define us: these reflect only part of the story of prophetic and courageous acts of justice and love by this denomination's members. We have truly made the way clear for the PC(USA) and others to follow in the evangelism that is now ours to share.

But we are not done.

Long before there existed any progressive movement or the advances that have been achieved, the treatment of our sisters and brothers who identified as queer -- was wrong, terribly wrong. And, recent legislation did not make us somehow, suddenly "right."

The changes we are witnessing have to be viewed as the acknowledgment that for years our and other communities of faith have been wrong, sinfully wrong in the way our sisters and brothers who identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer+ have been unwelcome. The charges of inhospitality carry a heavy price in the sacred texts, and our queer community has borne the brunt of exclusion and the residual violence - simply because others refused to see what the majority of folks have now come to know.

While one could make the argument that these changes and levels of acceptance and understanding take time, and they would be correct to do so -- I would counter that the levels of love and hospitality, supplanted by fear and judgment is where the original error exists, not in who God created us to be.

Our LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers have brought about more than a change in the constitution of the PC(USA), our sisters and brothers are bringing about a change in the way we love and accept one another. These forty years have been forty years of bringing the Good News to resounding levels that can now be heard by more people than ever before.

The question is: Is the church up to this new thing God is doing?

To be heard, institutions such as the PC(USA) cannot simply rely on legislative changes or practices to point to catharsis. Years of teachings and practices that have caused so much pain, suffering and contributed to the violence of so many -- have to be directly addressed at the highest of levels. It is such an acknowledgment of the wrongs and harms done as a result of the past positions of the denomination that first must be spoken -- before the new welcoming to those who have been shunned can be heard.

This ancient practice of amends and admission of wrongs done is now more critical than ever before. Any prospect for reconciliation that lay ahead will depend upon it, for this is the path that must be followed if we are to eliminate fear and judgment with love and hospitality.

It is a time to admit and acknowledge that the Love of God and one another has been renewed in ways by the Presbyterian Church (USA) that was long-lost and has now been found. A time to welcome, as never before!

Such an admission and invitation, spoken with courage and humility, will open our doors more widely than we could ever imagine. It will change the way the church and its teachings and practices have been misused to harm others for way too long.

This is what the ratification of 14F now challenges us to do.

And, my friends, this is the Good News. Good News for all.

~ Ray Bagnuolo

Coming out is not always easy...

"And he said to them, 'Is a lamp bought that is placed under a basket, or under a bed? Should it not be placed on a lamp stand? For there is not anything which is hidden that will not be revealed, and not anything existing in secret that won't be revealed. If anyone has ears to hear, let them hear.' And then Jesus said to the disciples, 'Watch what you hear. With that measure that you measure. It will be measured to you and it is increased to you, those who hear.' For to those who have, it shall be given. And for those who have not, also it shall be taken from them.'" Mark 4:21-25 [Aramaic English New Testament - modified for inclusive language]

Coming out is not always easy. It can happen in many ways and at any time. Still in places today, the threat of being "outed" is used to keep our "lamps" hidden away, held back from the darkness that so needs the light. The closet and the darkness continue to do untold damage, "measuring life" by the limited space in which our spirit breathes freely, constraining the light - never a good thing to do. Living in a complex of secrets riddled with fear obscures not only what we perceive but also what we hear; constraining the kindom of God that is within and what it calls us to do...in all the many ways we are called.

Attempting to hold back God never ends well. Whereas the opposite frees us to embrace more of "the measure" that is given us to participate in our world, loved by God and loving others in that measure and steadily growing free of fear. Living into our light dispels the darkness of oppression, revealing all - whether the marginalization of gender differences, the bigotry that thrives on fear, or any other form of domination.

Some might say we have a choice about coming out. In small ways, that is true. In the larger sense of who we are created to be and the lamp we have to shine so that others may see and hear and shine their lamp in the company of others who know the way... we have only the responsibility to be the light God created us to be.

To do otherwise is to be silenced and complicit in the darkness.

Never a good thing...

~ Ray Bagnuolo, May 9, 2015

Complicit: Silence = Death

It's about going forth...

Audio Link

In my opinion...

Leelah Alcorn’s suicide may not be the last for a long time to come. I remember the day Matthew Shepard was murdered. "Surely now," I thought, "everyone would see the violence of the teachings of twisted religious dogma. Churches and communities of faith will have to change now," I prayed as much as I thought.

I was wrong about Matthew’s death ending the complicity of some religious communities in hate crimes and violence.  We have made progress - and the reality is that even as we move forward - we have yet to overwhelm the insipient teachings that hasten the advance of such tragedies.

Unless we drown out misdirected dogma with the power and practice of love by us who know better - we are complicit in our silence. Love drowns out fear. It’s that simple. It's has always been that simple. And it has always been excruciatingly hard to do. Love is the message that fills the New Testament - yet we embrace it just so far. We criticize others for their literal interpretations of sacred texts, yet we fall short ourselves of prophetic witness. We both end up in the comfortable middle, while folks like Leelah and Matthew and others pay the dearest of prices.

This week's reading of the Gospel brings us to the River Jordan and the baptism of Jesus by John the Baptist. (Mark 1:4 -11)

"I have baptized you with water;" says John, "but he [Jesus] will baptize you with the Holy Spirit." (Mark 1:8}

It occurs to me that it’s a lot easier to take the water. It occurs to me that many people prefer to hang out with the old ways, with the “John teachings” – all of which we acknowledge but profess to have taken to the fullest of levels with the advent of Jesus. Still, we are halting in our embrace of discipleship; too often we wait until enough of others have made the way clear and safer to follow.

That’s how it seems to me. When we sidestep the discipleship we say we herald, we become complicit in the absence of change and the violence that seeks out such vacuums with a vengeance.  

Some of us have intimately known this dressed-up violence as the exclusionary teachings we've experienced in our denominations, communities and families. It is why welcoming communities of faith need to carry the message of hospitality and radical love without ceasing: 

"God and we welcome you in all the ways God has created us all." 

"God and we welcome you in all the ways God has created us all." 

What makes us so timid?

What if Leelah Alcorn or her family had heard that? What if Matthew Shepard's murderers had been taught that? 

Here’s what I know. Nothing about the teachings of Jesus would ever be part of -  in any way - teachings or practices that produce violence toward others. If you want to argue that, perhaps it is better to move on at this point.

The portrayal of God in the Old Testament is the God The Baptist still knew best, but he knew Change was coming.  And Change was Jesus. Jesus that summoned up Abba, the parent and guardian God who loves all. Jesus that affirmed the Greatest of Commandments. The same commandments to love God and one another that we seem to set aside most quickly, when fears takes hold and comfort or safety becomes threatened. 

Are we disciples of John or Jesus? Are we disciples of the old or the new?

The problem we face has its roots in the careful institutional conflation of God and church for too many centuries. Such conflation creates and empowers the most fundamental of all wishful thinking: "that if the church says it is so – then God says it is so, for God and church are one."

Really? 

Who might that benefit more than others? 

How close might that come to idolatry at some point?

So, which is it? When we are confronted with decisions based on love or judgment is it church dogma and teachings or God's love that is the final arbiter? Can it ever be both and still send someone out into the wilderness alone and marginalized?

I know my bias. I was brought up a Roman Catholic; I grew up loving the church and God. I was taught they were one and believing that nearly took my life. Finally in my thirties, I came to know the difference. I walked away from a church I knew was wrong. In the process I came to find the God that made and loves me...gay and all.

  

Slowly, I was able to see the role of the church as helping communities to live into the teachings of Jesus, struggling as disciples, together – regardless of how uncomfortable, unpopular, or messy the struggles might be. I came to know the joy and courage of others who had gone before, knew that God loved us all and that the church needed to change, even in the face of personal or professional risk. These were Presbyterians who led me back to church, and there are countless others waiting for what I was so blessed to receive.

Friends, we cannot forget how violence and fear are out to turn us inward and away from change at every opportunity. Nor can we forget that we have made strides with much, much more to do. The tragedies we speak of remind us of this and more. We cannot become tired or despairing.

Or timid....

Yes, the path is formidable: the road of discipleship is in direct opposition to fear. Recognize any obstacles to discipleship as fear-based at one level or another. Recognize any conflation of God and church as an inherently violent response to God and one another. And know the joy of loving like there is no tomorrow!

This love and discipleship requires being part of the change we want to happen. It requires personal and national leadership that embraces and announces the changes that have taken place at the highest of levels, in our denomination and others. There is great joy in the Good News and the witness we have to offer each other and the world, as we move profoundly forward. We have been baptized to make a difference - not wait for one to happen.

In response to the political silence surrounding the AIDS crisis in 1987, Act Up (A Coalition to Unleash Power) was formed. It's slogan was: "Silence = Death." It is a slogan well to remember in choosing our paths of discipleship.