NYS Marriage Equality: The Spirit Smiles

On this day, when Marriage Equality has come to New York State, many people are celebrating the promise they never let go of or stopped working for – that one day in this state of all states – marriage would be available across gender identity.

In effect, in New York, by this change marriage has transcended even the best of marriage definitions from the sum total of all marriage practices in the bible. Marriage Equality acknowledges that marriage is more than just form. It underscores that neither laws nor oppression can stop the march through time of Love, that is God, coursing through all God’s human creation and equally present in the love between same gender loving couples as in different gender loving couples. Equality means that the differences separating such love have been removed. The truth is that the imposition of bygone restrictions should never have existed in the first place – and must continue to be removed wherever they exist. To do otherwise is to stand in opposition – not just to one another – but to God and God’s great and abundant love. In New York State, on this day, the Spirit is truly smiling (however it is the Spirit smiles!).

"This kind of thing..." Really.

In an article posted today on the Christian Century Networks Blog the following was reported, referencing the maneuver to prevent discussion on the definition of marriage at the last General Assembly:

"Progressive Presbyterians were disappointed by the redefinition defeat. The resolution was essentially voted down July 8 in a parliamentary maneuver and never came to the floor for a full debate; an attempt to revive the resolution failed by a wide margin the next morning.

'The church was not yet ready to make a decision,' General Assembly moderator Cynthia Bolbach told reporters. "This kind of thing happens at every assembly.'"

"This kind of thing..." Really.

Earlier in the article, Pam Byers, Executive Director of Covenant Network offered this statement:

We're hoping very much to reengage and continue the momentum...As more Presbyterians recognize that they know good, faithful gay Presbyterians, it becomes harder to maintain this exclusion."

"It becomes harder to maintain this exclusion."

The juxtaposition of these comments by two powerful leaders in the PC(USA) frames some of the problem. For the church, it's just a time of not ready and expressing the lack of readiness as just another exercize of parliamentary procedure. So, for the gay and lesbian people of the church the status of exclusion continues, based on policy absent any other voice from leadership levels of the Office of General Assembly or elsewhere in Louisville.

Policy v. People. PC(USA)?

I admit it. I don't believe it has to be so. As a result, I continue to exhort every leader I can find, inlcuding supportive moderators of the PC(USA) to stand up and state to all that this church is wrong in its exclusionary policy. To state to those who believe that they are forgotten that it is not so. That they know this church is not welcoming and that it needs to change to become fully faithful.

Leadership from the PC(USA) needs to stand up and say that this instiutional marginalization is not "just a thing" dictated by policy. We need to exit the state of denial we seem to cower within, acknowledging that it is not "decent" to accept the dehumanization of others to maintain "order."

We who are excluded are not issues. We are baptized living, breathing, loving sisters and brothers. And this church's actions, or in this case inaction, reaches far beyond those who might call themselves Presbyterians. We are failing the human community of creation by excluding Lesbuan, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender folk from the full work and worship of this church with all the privileges of the church, including marriage. If there is to be any discussion of sin, it needs to start with this egregious error.

If the leadership of the church represents the whole church, when do they represent the LGBT commnity? Where in the official PC(USA) church is there an office, a person, or an outreach for the concerns of our sisters and brothers who are lesbian and gay? There is only public silence and sometime private support.

I also admit to wondering when will this church produce someone unconcerned with losing their status or position to the degree that they will stand up for the marginalized people they privately say they support and, at least, create a center in the church, not another study,  to help change the institutional church. We do not need to be studied; we need to be welcomed, even at the risk of upsetting others. I believe there is biblical precedent for such a thing.

I agree with Pam Byers and others who say that the exclusion [of LGBT folk] is slowly being chipped away, as more and more people ..."recognize that they know good, faitful gay Presbyterians."

I would add to that. I would add that in addition to knowing good, faithful gay Presbyterians, more and more people are recognizing the unintentional complicity of this church in the hate crimes and homophobia that plague this and other societies and cultures around the world. More and more people have had enough with a church that promises to follow the teachings of Jesus, but lacks the courage to make the same sacrifices it demands of others. Sacrifices it demands without any sense of public policy statement, institutional support, or what would be welcome outrage at the harm and injustice caused by silence and refusal.

Just another thing...

Hardly.

For Pete's Sake!

Actually, his name was Peter.

Peter Dellegrazio. Later, Peter DeLeo. He was a soulmate and friend. He had a spirit and charm that burst across a dance floor and sparkled in any conversation. Think Danny Terrio. Think George Stephanopoulos. He's been gone now for more than fifteen years, taken away physically by the virus, but never more than a thought away for me and many others who loved him.

Peter would have been with us in our struggle for justice. He was that kind of guy. A native Chicagoan, he bristled at the marginalization of any group, especially within the LGBT community. He came to his "pride" like many of us, following struggles that tested everything about us. Like many in our community, Peter made it through, and became stronger and more caring with each hurdle overcome. Some folks become bitter along the way. With Peter, it seemed that the upheavals made him more loving and compassionate, in other words - stronger. He knew people in a way that knew their suffering and their spirit, never thinking of them as issues or causes. He reached out all the time, seeking ways to help others avoid the mistakes and the pain, without losing the heart or the welcoming smile. He could enter a struggle and move beyond it, offering others a path to follow to a place of new horizons, rather than rotting in place.

Peter did what we have been doing through these last months of the ratification process on 08-B. He stayed with the people and never sought to move ahead by excluding others. It was a gift he had. I'm not sure he saw it in that way or thought of it as God-given. I knew, though, and I still know today. He was full of God and full of God's Spirit.

I'm not surprised that Peter comes to mind as I begin to gather my thoughts around the process we've just been through. A good deal of the heart I know today comes from our friendship, and this has been all about heart for me in the most personal and Eastern of ways.

Throughout the entire time of ratification and working with MLP and other progressive partners, I could feel the pulse quickening across the nation as we came closer to becoming a unified church. The sheer number of presbyteries that shifted positions in favor of 08-B was astounding and heart-warming. We who worked for ratification sought our full inclusion without losing our identity. We went forward with the Gospel in action, modeling the church we were hoping to become.

With others, I had the privilege of calling hundreds of ministers in presbyteries across the country, as they prepared to vote. While the conversations took different directions, they were among the most powerful of interactions I have had in all my time as a minister of Word and Sacrament. I could feel the connection we shared in our faith, beliefs, and experiences, even in the midst of strong differences. The are many stories, including the retired minister who seemed surprised to be contacted by anyone. He was well into his eighties and had long ago thought others believed his usefulness as a minister had retired with him.

When we got onto the topic of voting at his presbytery, he was clear that he would never favor the ordination of gay people. And, he went on to explain why at some length. I listened mostly, feeling saddened at his own marginalization, regardless of his voice or opinion. As we prepared to say good-bye, I thanked him for sharing with me, and I asked if there was anything I could do for him. Quietly, he said, "Well, I sure would like to preach once in a while; I wonder if I'm still on the pulpit supply list at the presbytery."

I told him I'd find out for him and wished him well. After the call, I dialed the presbytery office and got a hold of someone who knew him, explained who I was, and why we were making calls. I told them of the minister's request. There was a moment of silence on both sides for a minute, then the person on the other end said something like, "Well, look at you!" She said she'd give him a call and that they'd make sure he was given some of the attention he deserved, which had somehow been forgotten. She was thankful I had called and wished us well.

Looking back, I hope he went to the meeting and voted his heart. I hope he has since been preaching.

I think that too much is made of winning or losing, frankly. The paradigm is broken, as long as it somehow creates the belief that this division in our church can be resolved by votes. However, G-6.0106b has been voted in and it appears that the only way to remove it is to vote it out. I hope we don't make such a mistake again, "voting in" such a fear-based amendment into the church that is the incarnation of Jesus Christ in its mission and relationship with the world.

As we go forward, I need to say that I am not in favor of a revised G-6.0106b. I supported 08-B, but I still feel "B" should be gone. Gone. There should be no special conditions or "safety nets" for calling qualified individuals who are LGBT. There should be no special requirement for LGBT folk, just as there should be none for heterosexual folks. In short, the requirements to serve in the full work and worship of the PC(USA) should be the same for all God's folk! Period.

Clearly, we will continue this work on many levels, including advocating for same-sex marriage and changes in the language that discriminate against LGBT folk in any parts of our constitution. Already an overture to change or delete B is before one presbytery and more will follow. Times have changed and the votes, with steady prayer and perseverance, will come. The redirection of energy and ballots to the Theological Task Force on Peace Unity and Purity over the previous 8 or so years is no longer affecting the clear movement toward a time in the near future when G-6.0106b in its current form will be gone. In fact, the work of the Task Force and the recent decision of the GAPJC to allow scrupling of G-6.0106b leave the door open for LGBT folk to be called in friendly/progressive presbyteries.

That said, it is my hope that dozens of churches in the country will call qualified LGBT Candidates to educate, challenge, and unify the church through their examinations, becoming certified and cleared to accept such calls.

It calls for risks, yes. Being Christian has always called for risks in this world...

We are on the brink of a way of being the Church of Jesus Christ in the PC(USA) that can heal the anguish and marginalization of our sisters and brothers that no secular or political organization could ever hope to achieve. By creating a church that welcomes all God's people as full members, not only will our diversity become ever more our strength in mission, but our Love and Spirit will be witness to the Gospel and who we are in relation to God and one another.

Thank you to all who gave careful prayer and discernment in the entire process of ratification, including those with whom we might disagree. I abide by the belief that our disagreement is never enough for division if our Love is centered in the One who sends us forth, together.

For Pete's sake, and many others, let's leave the struggle behind and enter into a union of faith and community, differences and all.

Peace,
Ray Bagnuolo
Minister of the Word and Sacrament
Gay Member of the LGBT Community
Called Pastor and Head of Staff to Jan Hus Presbyterian Church, NYC
Board Member of More Light Presbyterians

On the Rev. Dr. Jerry Falwell...

I never really thought I would be writing about the Rev. Dr. Jerry Falwell.

So much has been broadcast and written about him in the past few days, that at times I barely recognized the man.

Having been privileged to serve at several memorial services, it has often been the case that when those gathered speak about the one who has died, they frequently find out information they never knew about the individual. So, I am not surprised that we are finding out many things we never knew about someone as public as this man, especially as the special reports and editorials continue. We are learnng more about his faith, relation to his family, and other honorable qualities he exemplified, and I join with all who know the sting of loss and the promise of eternal glory, including the Falwells and their friends and followers. I share this time in prayer for them and all those who are navigating the sacred space of letting go of someone they loved.

It is true for me, though, that those with the bully pulpit (in religious or public life) who have spoken out against gay people from whatever their convictions may be -- these individuals have been responsible for spreading hatred and violence. Have we forgotten that in the last few days?

What is more disconcerting is that individuals with a wide following and even universities established in their names - leave behind them legacies that gain fervor in seeking to honor those who have passed.

Would it surprise anyone that the next one to step into the position left vacant by Dr. Falwell's passing would exert their authority as a leader of the moral majority on the backs of gays and the protection of the family? Certainly there are other examples of this, most recently in the succession of Pope John Paul II. A simple Internet search of recent days makes that very clear.

On many occasions, I have sat and spoken with those who some might call my enemies. I really don't feel that I have enemies. It may be true that I do, but I look at everyone as a brother and sister with respect and love. I am called to do that as an imperfect follower of the teachings of Jesus. However, when I finish my conversations with those who were intent on changing me or condmening me, however charming, public, well-known, or powerful they might have been -- it was always clear to me that they were wrong in their position that we (the LGBT community) were somehow "less than" or a "second-class" because we were gay. How could we feel otherwise?

When these same folk used their influence to marginalize us and galvanize others to do the same, they were not only wrong -- they had become dangerous. When someone like a Dr. Falwell cited us as a contributing factor to the destruction at Ground Zero or threats to the family - we have a responsibility to love such people and then speak out strongly and transparently to let folks SEE us and know us, as best we can.

Probably the greatest damage of the teachings of zealots is that they use the fear they condemn to dominate and quiet those they wish to exclude. The fear and the repercussions that are real or imagined from such campaigns and pograms force gay people more deeply into the closet. We become represented by an out few and a blessed group of supporters. We hear others speaking about and for us -- rather than our speaking about and for ourselves. We reinforce that we have something to hide, by hiding ourselves.

I believe that until we grow into a community that is willing to take risks across a broad spectrum to address these systems doing their best to controlling our lives, we will be ineffective in meaningful change during anything that looks like our lifetimes.

So, the answer for many of us is that we walk alongside those who wish us silent, waiting to be recognized and admitted into their hearts and voices. We join in the throngs who see someone like a Dr. Falwell as worthy of being honored for his work against us, as helping us in our own movement. Really?

Early AIDS activist goup "Act-Up" had as their slogan: "Silence = Death." If we really want to make a difference, we all need to find ways to end the silence. Let's not be quiet about those who seek to destroy us in life or in death. There is no honor in their actions for us, nor is there any gain in our silence.

The Triumph of Fear

I sat in my faovrite pizzeria on Sunday. It's become my usual stop after service and coffee hour at church. My Sunday mornings begin about 2 A.M., as I finish the final draft of my sermon and last minute bulletin changes. It's a good time for me to write. Anyway, somewhere around 12 hours later, I'm on my way home, hungry, and then ready for a Sunday nap.

As I waited, the normally genial pizza guy was in something of a tizzy, railing against the church to a customer, connecting his angst with an early childhood experience in which he was tossed out of church. It seems this priest of his childhood had made a comment about Jesus being lowered through the ceiling. Kids, being kids, took the image and converted it into an animated discussion about Jesus coming through their roof, in that church, right then and there!

As a teacher, I see it as a perfectly understandable, teachable moment. Back in the 50's, the humor wasn't so readily embraced. In this case, it was seen as being disrespectful, inattentive, and maybe even sacriligious. Fifty years later, sometimes, it seems as though not much has changed. Jesus is still foisted on many in narrow, overly-defined ways - in other words, as a hostage to particular beliefs or ideas. Jesus, not being used to inform beliefs or ideals, but used in the most unlikely of ways as ballast for individual or institutional agendas - many about as far away from Jesus as you can get. And it's become serious, too serious.

Ever wonder if we are missing the joy and even good time that Jesus had in his ministry, amidst his work. As his ministry grew and he matured, the wonder of the diversity and inclusiveness of those who were disenfranchised and found hospitality and welcome with him must have been a great source of joy and fulfillment. Those who were welcome no where else, were welcome with him. We keep missing that lesson, especially when we get close to the idea of a church, in particular the Presbyterian Church USA, embracing LGBT folk as we do, basically, all others.

What might it have been like if we had gotten the message sooner and took the same risks Jesus did in his hospitality and welcome? Imagine gay kids growing up and feeling perfectly comfortable and affirmed by their church; yes, their church, too. The world would be a different place.

But somewhere along the way, we gave up that invtation to prophetic sanctuary and shelter in favor of our own fears. And the fears are many: fear of "catching gay" (whatever that means), fear of losing a place in heaven, fear of children being in danger around gay people, fear, fear, fear.

Since fear cannot be acknowledged for what it is, it has to be renamed and framed in more acceptable terms. And so, bias and prejudice become disguised as things like righteousness, faithfulness, protectiveness, love (if only you would change, they say - we love you, but we hate your sin), and on and on.

What happened to the two greatest commandments of all? Since when did love one another bring with it a manifesto to change others to fit a mold? We love you, let us change you.

No, it's more like: "We're scared to death of you and what welcoming you means to our comfortable, well-planned out lives and after-lives. It's best we keep you out of this church, out of wedlock, and out of our sight - at least until things change."

Fear triumphs in ways that change otherwise good and kind hearts into calcified and cruel instruments that beat only with the blood that passes through them. The warmth, the love, the willingness to risk for the sake of others has gone and in its place self-centered fear has taken up residence, disguised in the most comfortable of ways.